Tuesday, April 21, 2015


Have you ever known someone who lived such a sad, unloved life that their death wasn't even worthy of an obituary?  There was the announcement but no story of his life. 

I knew such a boy. I say boy, because he never really got to become a man.  Sure he was grown, but there is so more to that than being a man.

The boy I knew was a good person, with a kind heart and a big smile.  He was technically my older sisters friend, he never treated me like the obnoxious little sister, that I am sure I was on occasion.  He was a common fixture around our house during our youth.  I never thought much of it when I was younger.  I see now that I am older, it was most likely because he felt safe and loved there, and he was.  We all loved Mikey dearly.  This is not to say that his family and other friends didn't.

I think there was just something missing in him, something not whole, not complete.  For a short while, when he was young, he was able to fill that hole, with friends, with the joy that comes from making people laugh, which he was DAMN good at.

His life changed when he got older and that void got bigger.  He found new ways to fill it.  I can't imagine any other reason why people use drugs.

Drug addiction is a horrible, horrible disease.  I know the events that transpired, that led to Mikey's suicide, would not have happened if it weren't for drugs.  He was, at heart, a good person, clearly a sad troubled person, but good.  Drugs lead you down a dark hole, into a never ending circle of plummeting deeper and deeper until you can't see anyway out.

The Mikey that died, wasn't my friend, that Mikey was gone long, long ago.

I'm not sure why, weather it be the cause of death or the events prior to it, that he just doesn't seemed to be remembered.

He has a daughter out there.  I often wonder how she is doing, hoping that she doesn't carry that same void her father did.  I hope for a better life for her than her father had.

I do miss him dearly.  I miss his laugh.  He has been gone 14 years, I just miss him.

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